Comfort
by Mega-Erofan
Summary: Moving on is said to be the hardest thing to do but in reality, it's admitting that the past has occurred that is truly the hardest part of it all.


Ninglong sighs as he settles at his spot under the large Sakura tree set in the center of the gardens behind Baidi Castle, the only place he could find peace outside of the turmoil within the castle walls. With Liu Bei fading from illness and a great fuss being made on how Shu will be lead after his son takes control, the tranquility of such isolation was a blessing to him. The army had changed so much from how he remembered it at a young age, being raised by the three brothers as if he were their own child. It seemed only yesterday that Ning swore his loyalty to Shu and charged into battle against Wei alongside his friends and family…then everything began falling apart.

Many began falling in battle, never to return home, and one of the first that truly affected him was Guan Yu's demise. His death at the hands of Wei and Wu sparked a hatred towards the two kingdoms that he wanted to see used in battle but was pulled from the battlefields by Liu Bei in fear that his anger, which was as explosive as Zhang Feis, would lead him to his own demise. Zhang Fei was the next to fall, betrayed by two of his own man, and he had blamed himself for the longest time. He was supposed to be deployed with the General and assist in the assault of Wu but he had remained at the castle to protect Liu Bei in case Wei was to attack while they were away. That guilt soon became an inferno of rage when he was deployed with several other troops to attack Wu at Yiling, which sadly ended in defeat, causing them to retreat to Baidi. Now here they reside, simply bidding their time before they try to attack again, their target soon being Jin, the Sima run kingdom made from the shatters of Wei, which had already claimed victory over Wu some time ago and only fueled the burning rage he had towards the blue-clad kingdom. When he had the chance in battle, he would personally take Sima Yi's head, if only to avenge his fallen fathers and comrades.

Though the stirring disgruntle with Jin wasn't the only problem within the castle walls. A week ago, a young general returned with the troop that had been sent to try and attack Jin and ended in failure and nearly lost them their brilliant strategist, but they gained a new warrior from the battle-Xiahou Ba. Ning had heard many stories about the young man from a few Shu generals, especially Huang Zhong, who was responsible for the demise of Ba's father at Mt. Ding Jun some years ago. The Xiahou hardly spoke after he arrived at the castle with Jiang Wei and seemed uncomfortable with his own presence in the castle, or looked to be so when Ning observed him from afar. The swordsman was an interesting young man, even outside of battle, but Ninglong felt something unusual in his energy, something he couldn't identify himself but that he wanted to try and understand. Trouble was he could never isolate the young man long enough to speak with him alone, he would either be with Jiang Wei or Liu Shan or would lock himself away in his quarters, requesting that no one disturb him. He knew the young man was suffering from something but was unsure of how to help him. Several had told him to simply leave it be but he couldn't seem to let it go, he couldn't wave this off as an odd incident, he knew _something_ was wrong and he wasn't going to let it become something worse.

As he stares at the sky through the blossoming branches, he is unaware of the presence watching him from the shadows of the castle but only partially. He chuckles then closes his eyes as he lowers his head.

"You don't need to hide from me, you know." Ning states, his face unchanging as the figure flinches in the darkness from his discovery. "You have nothing to fear from me, I will cause no harm to you in any way, Zhongquan."

The armored man shyly shuffles into the light, the clunking of his armor drawing closer to Ning's side until it stops a few feet to his left. He peeks out of his left eye, finding blue and silver greaves just out of his reach. He turns his head and looks up at the young man, his armor shining in the sunlight and his helmet hiding most of his face, aside from the anxious smirk that adorns his lips. Ning huffs through his nose with a content smirk as his gaze finally meets with the pair of anxious, light brown eyes showing through the helmet.

"Don't be so nervous, my friend, I don't bite." Ning chuckles as he climbs to his feet.

"I wouldn't really be considered a friend within these walls." Ba murmurs, his gaze falling to the ground. "After everything that's happened and-"

"The past is the past, Zhongquan." Ning sighs. "And if there's anything my lord has taught me time and time again, it's that the past can always be forgiven for the sake of another."

"That doesn't mean you don't loathe me because of the past."

"What your comrades of Wei and Jin have done does not decide my judgment of you." Ning corrects. "To be truthful, there were days when I dreamed of taking Cao Cao's head myself for claiming the victory over Wu that we deserved after what they did to Yunchang." He pauses, the name stirring distant memories that catch him off guard. He catches his breath and continues. "And though you once served him before serving under the Simas, you did turn against them to protect our comrades. You came to your senses and saw them for the manipulative monsters they were. You knew they would only lead you to your demise and you wanted to defy your potential fate. I appreciate that in a warrior and that want to change for the better is something the warriors of Shu will smile upon. So you need not worry about the past that neither of us could control, you need only focus on the future and where we can lead it."

The Xiahou chuckles softly, catching a glance at the younger General. "It seems you _were_ raised in Shu if that's how you look upon all of this."

Ning smirks. "That's true. I was born and raised here, grew up alongside the other children of Shu, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I was somewhat the strength added to the oath between my lord and his brothers-all three of them took me in like their own and raised me along with their own children. It was almost like having a full family." He chuckles as he leans against the tree, looking towards the sky. "Well, if you think about it, I technically had three families, and I wouldn't change that for anything."

"You mean never knew who your parents were?" Ba inquires.

Ning shakes his head, moving his gaze back to the older warrior. "My lord explained everything to me one day, after I turned six. He told me my parents died in battle when I was just an infant and they didn't wish to abandon me, so they decided to raise me themselves. It was what my parents would have wanted, or at least that was what he told me so that it wouldn't seem like they truly abandoned me. I'm still not sure who they were or how they died but it doesn't bother me so much anymore. In the days after he told me, he began teaching me the values of Shu, about his dream of a peaceful land, and how I and the others could help achieve it in the future and maintain it once we came of age."

"When did he teach you about forgiving the actions of the past?"

Ning sighs heavily, his expression now solemn at the memory of that fateful day so many years ago. "After Yunchang was slain," He murmurs, his gaze falling to the ground as he continues. "The other officers of Shu had noticed my extreme reaction to the news and informed my lord and Yide. Yide tried to use my training as a means to vent my frustrations but my lord didn't find it so proper to use violence to focus my hate for Wu. It was then that he began to teach me how to forgive the past and focus my energy on the future. It was difficult at first, even more so after Yide was slain by his own men, but I eventually learned to cope with the losses of my comrades and fathers and began to put my energy into pursuing my lord's dream."

The gardens fall silent for a few minutes, stirring up unease and worry in the younger man. He glances towards Ba and notices a dark glimmer in the other's eyes-a sorrowful glint he had only seen a handful of times before but knew all too well.

"Are you alright, Zhongquan?" Ning inquires, concerned about the sudden drear on the Xiahou's face that seems to make the anguish in his eyes more obvious. The older boy dismally glances up, the shine in his eyes revealed to be tears that were building. "Zhongquan?"

"I can understand what it must've been like." He murmurs.

"What do you mean?"

"Losing someone so close to you," Ba sighs. "And not being able to protect them, even when you had the chance to. Losing the only family you've ever known in your entire life without ever knowing how you could've changed it, if you could've stopped them from leaving or even begged to go with them and ensure their safety." His eyes fall to the ground as a tear streaks down his cheek. "I know that pain, and it never goes away. No matter how much you wish or how long you pray, it never stops."

Ning pushes himself from the tree and approaches the General, gently wiping the tear from the other's cheek. Ba flinches from the touch, timidly looking up again, finding himself caught by a pair of soft silver eyes filled with a concern he hadn't seen in the eyes of anyone else in months. Ning places his hand on Ba's shoulder, never moving his gaze from the teary brown orbs.

"I may have been taught to forgive the past but sometimes even that isn't enough to heal the wounds in one's heart." Ning states, his gaze falling away as tears faintly sting his eyes. "I've learned that the best way to recover from the past is to admit that what happened has happened, no matter how much it hurts to accept it. To understand that even the most vivid of dreams and ravenous of fires cannot do anything to bring back those we've lost is to extract that pain and welcome comfort. And to accept the truth we wish was only a bad dream will offer strength to fight on for those who gave their lives in order to secure our own futures."

He moves his gaze to look back at the General, sensing the emotional walls the other had built up begin to crumble, if only partially. "I understand you've lost many who are close to you but you can never truly begin to fight for them until you've learned to accept their fate and preserve their memory. Only then can you fight, not just for yourself, but for those who fell before you." He instinctively wipes another tear from Ba's fair cheek as it leaks out, gently cupping his cheek after. "Zhongquan…would you be able to accept your father's death to fight on for his sacrifice?"

The emotional fortress the Xiahou had spent years building up to protect himself collapses at the mention of his late father as tears gush from his eyes and a dry sob shakes his body. Ning gathers the larger form of the other in his arms as the two men fall to their knees, quietly comforting the larger General as he convulses from sobs. The two remain this way for several minutes until Ning manages to calm him down. He pulls away and wipes the wet trails off the other's cheeks as he looks back.

"It's always hard at first, Zhongquan, but it gets better over time." Ning sighs, instinctively rubbing his thumb under one of the watery brown orbs looking back at him, seeming to sense a sort of healing through them-a healing that has been long overdue for the other. "Trust me."


End file.
